only you would photoshop your dick
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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