I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's blow job season.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize