the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
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She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
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This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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