she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
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it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
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