i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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