Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize