I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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