Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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