If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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