you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
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I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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