i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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