i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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