haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
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mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
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I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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