mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize