I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
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Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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