She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize