I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize