Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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