I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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