remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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