Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
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The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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