guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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