My balls are so social today.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize