Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
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