Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm so fucking centered right now
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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