Joe is yelling at the trees again.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
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He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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