he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am midnight drunk by noon
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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