nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
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There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
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We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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