I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
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Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
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Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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