Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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