I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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