Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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