That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
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On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
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The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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