Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize