Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
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