I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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