these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
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We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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