I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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