i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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