I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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