There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize