Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
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drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
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Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
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