I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize