you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
this boner is exhausting
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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