We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
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We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
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Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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