Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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