OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize