sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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