At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize