I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Panties = found
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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