do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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