Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize